Post was sent in by a reader. Do you agree?
Hello Laila, I was reading a post on this blog where readers attacked Oprah Winfrey for saying she doesn't want children and I couldn't help but ask why can’t women want something besides fertility?
In a society where feminism has become a more acceptable word and women everywhere are standing up for their right to lead countries and companies as equally as their male counterparts, do Nigerians realize it's now backwards to chastise a woman who doesn’t want to give up her power for a child? When did it become so wrong not to want to have kids?
Had to send you this article and it's for all the women out there holding their tongue
and desperately wondering how to tell their families, friends and Nigerians that are ever so willing to judge them, that they don’t see themselves giving them kids, grandchildren anytime soon. Here are all the reasons why it's perfectly okay to be a woman who doesn’t want children:
- 1. You Refuse To Do Two Jobs Half-Assed
Isn’t it worse to have kids raised by nannies and strangers than not to have kids at all? It seems selfish to want to chase both the career and the baby train when you only have time to fully devote to one. Today, women are running billion-dollar companies and leading creative fields to the glory land of Emmys and Golden Globes. There is no longer the stigma that comes with the working woman who decides to chase a career over a toddler. It’s okay to replace storks with Golden Globes and dirty diapers with overfilled emails. “Having it all” is increasingly impossible and even irresponsible; there will always be one side left neglected.
- 2. There Are Thrills You Want To Seek Beyond Childbirth
Yes, it’s thrilling to have a child. Maybe one of the most thrilling and pants-sh*tting experiences out there. However, just because you choose to experience that one thrilling event doesn’t mean all the other exciting adventures of the world aren’t worth it. Having a baby disqualifies you from chasing other types of thrills, ones that wouldn’t be possible with a toddler strapped to your front.
- 3. Your Career Is Your Child
As stated before, having both a child and career is difficult. For many people, their careers become their lives, and the job becomes their child. You spend nights up with it, weekends with it and are always watching out for it. You watch it grow, feed it and nurse it back to health. When it comes to your job, you are its caretaker and its sole provider. Your livelihood is in this career, this job; this profession is what gives you purpose. Your career will never leave you, get into hard drugs or put you into debt.
- 4. You Have More To Offer Than Children
While repopulating the world is an admirable feat, what if everyone just chose to have babies and no one wanted to help other kids? There are many noble things one can do besides producing children. Many times those without children choose to devote their lives to kids without families, homeless people without shelters and hundreds of other causes that need as much specialized attention as kids who just want the newest toys and clothes for Christmas.
- 5. You’re Admonished Either Way
If you have kids, you’re just one of those women who gave up her career to stay home. If you don’t have kids, something’s wrong with you. Either way, people are always going to have something to say. Everyone always has, and always will have, an opinion of you and it’s your choice to either lead your life based on others’ opinions or to follow your barren womb to greatness.
